The concept
The Flamingo Rebellion is a satirical chronicle of a fictional homeowners association — petty rules, inspection days, mulch wars, and one beige chair everyone wants. Our readers are homeowners: the exact people who buy fencing, pavers, pressure washing, landscaping, painting, and pest control.
We sell flat-rate sponsorship, not advertising. No CPM math, no impressions game, no auction. You are not buying “reach” — you are putting your name on a neighborhood fixture that people actually read, next to stories about the exact work you do.
Honest audience disclosure
The site is new and small, and we will not pretend otherwise. We do not publish traffic numbers on this page; we share current, real numbers privately with any serious sponsor before they sign. The founding rate reflects launch stage — it is priced like a little-league banner, not a billboard, and it will not stay this low once the audience grows.
Founding Sponsor — $200/month
Flat rate · month-to-month · 30-day cancellation either side
Your logo and a short blurb in the Founding Sponsors block on every page, naming rights to one House (“House Pylon — Sponsored by Your Business”), and one clearly-labeled sponsored story each month, written in the site’s voice.
The founding cohort is capped at ten. Your rate stays locked for as long as you remain continuously subscribed.
Formats
- Sponsored story (included monthly for Founding Sponsors) — 600–800 words written in-universe, around what you actually do. Conspicuously labeled Sponsored at the top of the story and on every feed card. You review the accuracy of your own service claims; you do not edit the satire.
- House sponsorship — naming rights to one of the six Houses, shown on the House dossier and on that House’s stories. Six slots, quarterly terms.
- Site banner — low inventory, flat rate only, no ad network.
- Newsletter — planned. It does not exist yet, so it cannot be sold yet. When it launches, sponsors will be first to hear.
Who we will not take money from
HOA management companies · HOA software/board platforms (AppFolio, Vantaca, CINC…) · association-side law firms and HOA collections/lien services · community-association insurance brokers · HOA board-training · MLMs, payday lenders, scam-adjacent.
That list is absolute. This site mocks HOA gouging; its sponsorship wall can never be an HOA vendor hall.
Labeling commitment
Every paid link on this site uses rel="sponsored" and carries a
visible Sponsored label. Sponsored stories are marked at the top and in
the feed. Editorial control stays with the publisher: a sponsor’s money buys
their label, not our opinion.
Interested?
Write to [email protected] with your business name and trade. Tell us one true detail about why this odd little site fits your neighborhood. No drip campaign — if it is a pass, we will say so and leave you alone.
The Flamingo Rebellion · a satirical fiction. Sponsorship supports the writing; it never rewrites it.